My demons,
though quiet.
are never quite silenced.
Calm as they may be,
they wait patiently
for a reason to wake,
take an overdue breath,
and crawl back into my ear.
Monday, 24 December 2012
Friday, 21 December 2012
My solicitous nature
I always have this fear that one day you are going to discover that I'm not as great as you once thought I was.
Loss
You love me so purely only because you've already accepted the loss of me.
You know, deep in your marrow, that you’ll never hold me in your arms.
You’ll never place that yearning kiss upon my lips.
You’ll never press your face to the soft crown of my head, and inhale deeply.
You’ll never place that yearning kiss upon my lips.
You’ll never press your face to the soft crown of my head, and inhale deeply.
You know this, and more than that - you know that I accept it.
Winter has gone, Persephone
My dearest,
Winter has come, and so swiftly passed us by. I have tended your garden to the letter of the instructions you left, but I find the tasks agonizing.
The flowers do not respond to me the way they do to you. I speak to them as I have watched you do, but they don’t seem pleased by my presence or words. I cannot blame them, why be pleased with me, when it was your soothing voice that was there before?
They miss you, and so do I. Your dog has been moping around the palace since you’ve left. I’ve taken him to play by the Styx a few times, but it’s as if his vigor has left him since you’ve gone back.
He’s just not the same when you’re gone, and neither am I.
I believe even father misses you! He’s risen from Tartarus twice! I was able to push him back the first time, but the second, I was forced to call my brothers! He said, “Her song,” and that can only mean the song you’ve sung to soothe him when he acts up.
He grows restless without you near, and so do I.
My love, would you be able to steal away from summer for a day, and spend it with me? We could meet on Ogygia, and I’ll bring Cerberus. We could play in the sand, and I could feel the touch of the one whom I need most. I need to feel your love and grace.
Chaos, Persephone. I’m in chaos without you. Pacify me?
Eternally yours,
Hades
My goal to achieve
I don't want to be like those other girls... the mainstream ones... I don't want to be infected by that wretched curse of conformation. I wish to stand out as much as possible but I know that won't help me be noticed by these nefarious, pernicious, blood-thirsty monsters that run our society. Those whose attention I wish to acquire so desperately.
Being relatively significant and popular would make me more exuberant about life and more active. But this.. this sick desire I have to please people is never going to leave my side and set me free into the world. It'll always be with me until the day of my demise. I want myself to let all care about judgement and pleasing people go... and live my life liberally... but there's always this thought in the back of my mind... is what I'm doing the right thing? Will I get judged by other for what I'm doing? I wanna release my desire to please people, this is my quest.
Being relatively significant and popular would make me more exuberant about life and more active. But this.. this sick desire I have to please people is never going to leave my side and set me free into the world. It'll always be with me until the day of my demise. I want myself to let all care about judgement and pleasing people go... and live my life liberally... but there's always this thought in the back of my mind... is what I'm doing the right thing? Will I get judged by other for what I'm doing? I wanna release my desire to please people, this is my quest.
Friday, 7 December 2012
La Douleur Exquise
Not being able to acquire something I crave most desperately is torturing my soul in its writhing pain and destruction. My eyes burn with desire as I watch him walk past in awkward grace. I tremble when I think of the minor yet achievable possibility of finding his love and warm attention. I push boundaries and find trust in many to tell them of my passion in gaining this boy's affection. He is beautiful in a way no other sees, yet one, one girl, gorgeous in her unknown nature has this love I desire to obtain so keenly.
I am the blank page before you.
Your innocence, senile in its unkempt nature, is slowly yet steadily asphyxiating me to the point of no return. The naivete that you posses has you startled and disoriented. You've been hurt before and I understand it, but unless you acknowledge your feelings for me, this stalemate is never going to end. This is a game to you because you've had so many women wrapped around your greedy finger. Well, my dear, you best prepare your king and queen because I won't stand for it, you will not use me like the others. It won't be soon before long that this game will end with a check mate.
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