You need to stop caring.

I was a shadow of love, then. A mirage of the purity I wanted you to see reflected in me. Demons always dwelt in this temple of ruin - and I kept them from you... from everyone. I guarded my secret, sullied self with icy perfection, so that when you left, I ignorantly reassured myself that you never really knew me nor loved me. There was a sad solace in that.

You damned me for a few words of honesty I spoke to you at a party once, cuttingly polite, drunk with the strain of pretending not to want you. I succumbed to my shallow, yet fervent desires. I made a mistake that night. I finally revealed something of my true self; something dark that shattered the world you had balanced so carefully upon your denial.

I saw your pain then, and I see it now. Like the poison intoxicating your veins, like vermilion cigarette singes on the back of your heart, I tore through your ravaged soul. I told you it would come to this. A pasquinade you never truly accepted as realism.